23 December 2014

Once ...

I came here when I was feeling lost - a hidden cove overlooking swaying wheat fields, ocean and mountains. I'd sit on a wooden bench chain smoking Marlboro Lights and feeling the day's angst or despair in the pit of my gut - pain so deep I thought it might kill me. A bittersweet break-up; crippling loneliness; impending financial collapse; generalized fear and anxiety about pretty much everyone and everything - wondering how in the hell I would ever make it through.

It's been many years since my last visit to this place. The bench is rotted away and the view is covered by brambles of wild rose.

I'm filled with quiet melancholy for a place that no longer exists. For a young woman who no longer exists...